Tesla is 3

happy birthday to my little Tesla Miles.

his first day home from the hospital, a few days old

i never thought he'd grow hair.  he had such a round, bald, little head.

but eventually, he did.

everyone says this about their children, but he's so funny and sweet and smart.

he loves to help out (folding washcloths is his specialty) and he loves to cook.

as my boys grow up, they are becoming more and more fun.

babies are cute and sweet and fun, too, but there's something to be said for a little person who can actually talk to you and can express his own thoughts and feelings and opinions.

tesla has been SO. EXCITED. for his birthday.  when i told him it was coming up and asked what we were going to do on his birthday, he exclaimed, "have BIRTHDAY CUPCAKES?!?!"

he was practically shaking with excitement.

pinterest tried to convince me that i needed to go all-out on an organized, themed, perfectly decorated birthday bash.  but...that's really not me, guys.

this morning, silas took him out for breakfast, a birthday tradition he's passing down from his own family.

i'm going to put up streamers and balloons (if i can find where i stashed them), and make chocolate cupcakes with chocolate cream cheese frosting.  we're going to take boys to the train park in scottsdale, and then after naptime, the rest of the family (meaning everyone that lives here--my parents, grandma, and brother) is going to come over while we have pizza and cupcakes and presents.  we'll probably blow out a few candles...it'll be wild.

maybe i will go all-out and make a "happy birthday" sign.  we can always reuse it next month for desmond's birthday.  ;)


happy birthday, handsome little guy.

eating stuff (the joy that is little boys)

so the other day, i was getting dressed in my room.  from the other side of the door, i kept hearing desmond announce with pride, "I lick it!  Mommy, I lick it!"

i ignored him, thinking he was chewing on one of Sirius' toys or something.

"Mmhmm, sweetie."

i came out of my room and discovered that desmond was, in fact, in the process of devouring a stick of butter.  It was over half gone and filled with teeth marks.  His grinning face was shiny and as buttery as a biscuit.

ugh.

does the story sound familiar?

maybe it's because i caught tesla doing the exact same thing when he was only 2 months older than desmond is now.

tesla, caught in the act.

i mean, i like butter.  probably the only person who likes butter more than i do is paula deen herself.  par example: the other night, silas and i went to the cheesecake factory.  they gave us a basket with two loaves of bread and 6 little packets of butter.

silas and i split the bread evenly.  he used one little foil-wrapped portion of butter for all of his bread.

i, of course, used the other five.  one for each slice!

i often like to just dip chunks of bread in softened butter, rather than spreading it on thinly.

so it's obvious where the boys got their affinity for buttery goodness.

but even i wouldn't eat a stick of butter like a popsicle.

tesla with his "purse"

the other day i was walking to the car, carrying a bunch of stuff, when i heard desmond call out, "Mommy!  I drink a water!"

i turned to find both him and tesla, face down on the cement driveway, licking up some liquid that i hope was a dirty puddle.  it could have been spilled oil or some poisonous car fluid, for all i know.

desmond and sirius

and then today, we were walking to the car again when i heard desmond say, "Mmm!  Cereal!"

i looked down to find him happily crunching on something.

i had not given him any cereal.



sometimes seems like a miracle they're still alive.






*you'll notice that it was desmond drawing my attention in each of these scenarios.  it appears tesla's learned to keep quiet by now, in order that his mischief may continue uninterrupted.

[recipe] crispy tofu tacos

i used to be a tofu weenie.

i thought it was bland and mushy and kind of gross.  i tried to eat it sometimes, but the most i could do with it was scramble it.  it was a poor, watery, turmeric-flavored substitute for the delight that is scrambled eggs.

people kept telling me, "you have to cook it differently!  try frying it!"

but i was afraid of frying things.

fry it?  in oil?  you must be insane.

(this was back when i was extremely calorie-conscious, which explains why i was trying to choke down flavorless tofu in the first place.  back in those dark days, i would do ridiculous things like eating measured portions of carrot sticks and saltine crackers topped with salsa.  my special breakfast treat was the "toast" i made by spraying both sides of a slice of bread with cooking spray and warming it in a nonstick pan.

it was disgusting, and tasted like the inside of a can.)

eventually, i got over my fear of fat (although i have yet to deep-fry anything), and started to branch out more.  life got a lot better.

(fat = flavor, people.)

and once i learned to press and (lightly! don't freak out!) fry tofu, meat substitutes became a lot more appealing.

allow me to demonstrate.



crispy tofu tacos

from here

1 block extra-firm tofu
3 TBS taco seasoning
1 1/2 TBS dried oregano
butter or oil for frying
your desired taco accoutrements

Drain and press your block of tofu.  I do this by placing the tofu between several layers of napkins or paper towels, and weighing it down with a cast iron pan (or some equally flat and heavy object).  You can press it for a few minutes or a few hours.  I probably did mine for about half an hour.

Heat a large pan and some butter (or oil) over medium heat.

Once tofu has been pressed, slice it into thin (about 1/2 inch) slices.  (You can also cube it, which would result in extra crispiness and flavor.  It is excellent this way.   However, if you are unenthused about flipping three dozen tiny cubes, slice it.)

Mix your taco seasoning and oregano in a small bowl.  Dredge your tofu slices or cubes in the spice mixture, and then place them into the hot pan.  Like so.

by the way, you'll notice i'm not frying the tofu in an inch of grease or anything.  i added just enough butter to keep the slices from sticking to my very old, very weathered, cast iron pan.

also, you can obviously use whatever type of oil you wish to.  i just think butter tastes good.

Cook the tofu a couple minutes on each side, or until crispy.  If your slices are big enough, you can remove them from the pan and place them onto a cooling rack so that they don't get mushy.

Serve taco style!  You can slice it into strips if your tortillas are small.  We ate ours with extra sharp cheddar, baby spinach leaves, and homemade guacamole (recipe: mash avocados with fresh lime juice and salt.  devour).

We also had a chopped cabbage salad on the side, drizzled with a delicious sweet chili dressing inspired by this one.

----------------------

and here's the recipe that made me love tofu.

sweet like a chica cherry cola

1.  yes, i'm still listening to savage garden.



2.  i got to babysit my friend's baby last night.  he's a few months old and he's beautiful.  the boys (especially tesla) were enamored of him.

 be still my heart.

3.  i ran out of laundry detergent (and money in the budget) so i'm trying the homemade stuff again.  liquid this time.  hopefully it works out better than my crap-tastic homemade powder detergent.

behold my optimistically-labeled milk jug.

3.  brunch with the boys.

those dang blueberry costco muffins.  we have a serious issue.  i am banning myself from buying any more.  ever.


at least for a few weeks.


4.  project runway is boring to watch by yourself.  i told silas he needs to be my PR buddy, but he is uninterested.

he doesn't appreciate Tim Gunn.

oh tim.  all stars was lame without you.


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happy friday!  enjoy your weekend.

messy

messy hair.

desmond

messy beans.

 tesla and desmond

(now imagine every single one of those beans spread across the entire living room and kitchen.  i'm still finding them.  sensory bins and i are not on good terms right now.)




and an unrelated but delicioso cheese sandwich.

happy monday.

hanging in there

silas was on vacation in new york for 10 days.

(i did not mention this because i did not want to be attacked by someone who thought i was alone and defenseless.  and by the way, i was not defenseless.  i was armed with mace and a handgun, and i know how to use at least one of them.)

he got back saturday afternoon, and started his second year of podiatry school on monday.

(we are overjoyed.  OVERJOYED, i tell you.)

one on hand, it's great.  really.  all the hopes and prayers and money and time and energy and sleep sacrificed to the cause of Education have paid off.  we're here.  silas is in school, taking classes that actually relate to his future career.

but on the other hand (the negative one)...when one thinks about how much lies ahead, one sometimes feels like this.

but one (or two) can be cheered up a bit by the promise of masterchef and frozen pizza and ice cream.

especially if it's the best ice cream ever.

don't let the uninspiring packaging fool you.  this stuff is amazing.  like funfetti cake batter ice cream with cream cheese frosting but even better.  you will love it*.

winco stocks it.  

in case you're interested.  

now go have a great evening.

i'm going to go shower.  i just remembered i haven't done that since monday morning.

*unless your name is silas and your sugar tolerance is about a teaspoon/day.

chill

spent time at a friend's house this morning.  talked life and kids and books.

attempted to have "silent reading time" with the boys.  they did better than i expected, although they definitely weren't silent.  :)

colored on the glass patio doors with window crayons.  it was actually pretty fun.  someone whose name rhymes with mesmond also colored on the carpet.  that's when i took all the crayons away.

took a nap.  no shame.  I TOOK A NAP TODAY, PEOPLE.  (and yesterday and every day last week except sunday.)

made bbq pizza (with zucchini, onions, cheddar, mozzarella, and bacon) for the boys and myself.  with a TON of barbecue sauce.  (silas is sick of bbq pizza and refuses to eat it with me anymore.  maybe because i made us eat it at least twice a week for several months....)

boys are asleep, floor is mopped, kitchen is clean.  now i am going to chill with some white collar (neal caffrey, my bff) and a few loads of laundry.

(i used to always use "folding laundry" as an excuse to go watch tv in my parents' bedroom.  and now i use it as an excuse to watch tv in my bedroom.  although who i'm trying to fool now, i'm not sure.)



august is almost over!  can you believe it?

a small miracle

if you read my emo post, i'm sorry.  (just keepin' it real, guys.)

i had a break to regroup during naptime and the afternoon was significantly better.   (i mean, tesla did spent about an hour in "the corner", but at least i wasn't on the verge of an emotional breakdown.)

i didn't think discipline would be such a challenge for me.  although really, i don't know why i'm surprised.  i'm white (i love that book by the way.  silas had to read it for a class back in the day and he recommended it to me.  it has given me so much insight into my personality, and into our marriage--we're a rare white/white couple, and that creates some pretty significant issues).  i've never really commanded authority (or even meekly requested it).

because of this, "finding myself" as a mother and an authority figure has been challenging.  but i'm sure most of us struggle with it to some degree.

all that aside, what i really wanted to tell you was what happened during dinner.  i made the boys each an egg and then we had cooked wheat berries and kale prepared like this (BEST recipe for cooked greens--i don't have to choke them down).  i fully expected them to eat the egg and nothing else.

but.

they ATE the KALE!

ALL OF IT!

AND HAD SECONDS!

(for all of you out there who think i feed my kids super healthy--i don't think a single vegetable has passed their lips, except in quiche form, in about a year.  so them willingly eating something green and leafy and not disguised by egg and cheese was HUGE.)

it was a tender mercy from the Lord.

and i'm not being sarcastic.

i desperately needed to feel like i did something right today, and them eating a food they would normally not even look at nearly brought me to tears.

maybe i'm doing okay after all.

disciplining wee beasties is not for the faint of heart

i am a raincloud today.

that's me.  spreading cheer wherever i go.

in the same pajamas i've worn for 3 days and 2 nights straight...

(i am not a "fake it till you make it" kind of person.  just so you know.)



i called my mom and cried this morning about how frustrated, confused, ineffective, and lost i felt.

she listened and gave just the right amount of advice and made me feel a little better.

then i stress-ate 4 reeses cups and a quesadilla.

(so of course now i feel like crap.)

chocolate and cheese used to be my go-to binge (alternating, not in the same mouthful.  ugh).  i know it sounds disgusting, but sweet + salty never lets you down.

one day i would like to talk to you about my history with food, because i think it's something that needs to be talked about.  not that my story is really epic or anything, or even really interesting or unusual, but because i've made progress.  and i think sometimes, when you're in the worst of it, you need to know that progress is possible.

today, however, is not that day.

today is the day where i narrate my life really dramatically in my head and wallow annoyingly in self pity for a little longer.

(i bet you're thinking i could use a little shot of that fake optimism right about now, eh?)

well...

i could use a shot.

baby[face], baby[steps]

pest control just came by.

when tesla and i answered the door, he asked if "the parents" were home.

"actually, i'm the, uh, parent," was my eloquent reply.

on a more random note, we made apple muffins this morning!

i'm trying to be better at letting the boys help.  obviously it's easier (and neater) for me to do the cooking myself, but why deny them a learning opportunity?

i read somewhere that a great way to involve children when you're cooking is to add extra, unnecessary step.

my original idea was to measure out all of the ingredients into separate bowls and have the boys help combine them.

yeah, no.  it was 7:30 am.  and i'm not on food network.

but i did place the chopped apples into the bowl and let the boys mix them in.  then they put the liners into the muffin pan and helped me scoop the batter in.

i was a little stingy with the "turns" i gave them and scooped most of the batter myself...

but it's a step in the right direction.  

  

:)

family dinner

now that my parents live close (30 mins away, holla!), we've been going over on sundays for family dinner.

(i don't think i've actually ever uttered the word "holla" in real life.)

anyway.  it's really nice.  the boys LOVE going, we get a delicious meal (that i don't have to cook), and i bring dessert.  it's a win-win-win.

yesterday's chocolate cake:

so yeah, it was a little lopsided because i was too lazy to trim it to be level.

but it was super moist and awesome.  although i almost died on the car ride over, trying to keep an eye on the road while making sure my cake didn't end up all over the car.  that would have been tragic.

but we all made it, safe and sound and intact.



happy monday!  feel free to stop by if you want to take some cake off my hands.

well, not literally off my hands.

you know.

fake birthday

yesterday, we celebrated all of our birthdays.

of course, it wasn't any of our actual birthdays...or even anyone's half-birthday.

but i decided we needed some festivity, so festivity we would have.

it was legit.  i made a sign.

we took the boys to see ice age 4 (they lasted about 45 minutes), and came home for pizza and presents.    it didn't matter that we were late to the movie, or that we spent most of it chasing the boys up and down the stairs (there was hardly anyone there, so it wasn't a big deal).  or that the pizza took so long to cook (thank you oven) that we just made the boys grilled cheese so they could go to bed.  or that the oven destroyed my cupcakes and rendered them inedible (seriously, i could write an entire post dedicated to the eccentricities of our oven).

we had presents.  and a sign.  and balloons.  and it felt special.

i got the boys each a pair of sunglasses, and a little airplane and dinosaur.  (bless them for being so easy to please right now.)  i got silas a massage at a local spa, and he got me a pizza stone.  (i've been wanting one forever.)

i left the sign up today.  it's cheerful.

birthdays, real or invented, are a definite morale-booster.

(and so, by the way, is anything that glows in the dark.)

what you've missed

you know how i set a goal to read 50 books in 2012?  NAILED IT.  finished my 50th last month, only halfway through the year.

(we're going to overlook the glaringly obvious lack of whatever in my life that allows me to read such a ridiculous amount and just skip right to the "congratulations, you're awesome!" bit.)

white collar marathons.  

neal caffrey.  i rest my case.  

silas refuses to watch it with me.  but it is the best. (ps, season 4 just started!!  i'm waiting for the perfect moment to settle down with a bowl of brownie batter celery sticks and enjoy episode 1.)

ps again--i was absolutely convinced for the entirety of seasons 1 and 2 and most of season 3 that kate was still alive.  i haven't completely banished the thought.

cheesy dip-stuffed bread bowl.  it seems to be impossible for silas and me to watch an episode of masterchef without delicious snacks at hand.

food coloring and shaving cream.

sirius is in LOVE with silas.  and only silas.

bread stuffed with butter and cheese and slathered with more butter.

delicious brownies from katie imhoff's recipe.  

chocolate cupcakes.  stuffed with cookie dough.  topped with a fluffy cookie dough frosting.  this was a win.  (but, as i told silas, definitely not for lightweights.)  ;)

i've been watching dc cupcake while i pit bowls of cherries (my hands look ridiculous after all the cherries and beets i chopped yesterday) and dreaming of the bakery i will open some day.  

it's going to be delicious.

it doesn't count if you're standing, right?

the boys are doing roomtime.  it is peaceful.  (after i gave my "STOP BANGING THE BOOKCASE ON THE WALL" speech, of course.)

i finished the morning chores and was going to do some yoga.

instead i stood in the kitchen, staring off into space, and accidentally consumed 6 oatmeal chocolate chip walnut cookies while my mind was lost in thought.

i hate when i do that.

i suppose i can still go attempt the yoga.  i'm not really feeling it today, though.

i'm feeling pretty distracted, spacey.

(as you might have gathered.)


what were you saying?

cupcake love

cupcakes from sweet daddy to celebrate finding a swimsuit.

(with the boys in tow, no less.  they were not happy about the shopping but were quite pleased to split a cupcake.)

silas has the biggest mouth i've ever seen.  that is a gigantic cupcake.

and me?

pitiful.

it doesn't even look like i'm trying.



(but take a look at those cords in my neck--maybe i was trying too hard.)


go support your local cupcake shop.  ;)

just checking in

hello friends!

break was so good.  that's why i've been so silent.

and my pants are so tight.  that's why i've been in leggings 24/7.

(as you know, when silas is on break, i gain weight.  it's lovely.)

we watched the first episode of MASTERCHEF SEASON 3 tonight (it's only what i've been waiting for my whole life) and i'm reading book 44 of this year.  life is good.

also, i'm trying very hard to grow my hair out as quickly as possible.

...it's still a work in progress.


hope the rest of this week brings you good times and great oldies everything your heart desires.





p.s.  got a flat tire at the library today.  couldn't remember how to change it, so i drove home on it.  not supposed to do that, apparently.  (the library is only 5 minutes away!  like i was going to stop on the side of the road and try to change it myself like a fool and then get mugged when an unscrupulous man with suspicious intentions stops to "help" me.  please.)

but, silas made me change it when i got home.  i am now self-sufficient, and a car expert.

watch me go check the oil level with that little stick thing.

very superstitious (i hope you're humming stevie wonder now)

i've been denying it for years, but...i'm pretty superstitious.  in strange ways, though.  i've never had a lucky charm or anything like that.  but i've always been sort of a "sign-seeker", i suppose.  in some ways, that's good, because i usually have a lot of faith that no matter what, things will "work out".  but in other ways, it's kind of ridiculous.

for example:  when i was a kid at a birthday party and they were handing out favors, i took what i was given.  if my best friend had one i liked better and wanted to trade me, i would refuse.  something in me  believed that it was the toy i was meant to have and i wasn't supposed to trade.  i would take the hand Fate had dealt me.

(a plastic toy!!)

i'm really not kidding.  i was a mystical little child.  (robin, this probably doesn't surprise you...)  ;)

but anyway.  i'm also superstitious about the ebb and flow of life.  if things have been going well for a while, i start to get suspicious.  today i was out playing with the boys, and we were having such a good day.  i was enjoying myself.  really.  it was so nice.

the weather was beautiful, and i had two adorable pajama-clad boys carrying around pink buckets to entertain me.  life just felt...good.

and then i had the thought that something else was coming.  i'm not trying to be pessimistic, but hey...we weren't put here to have an easy life.  you don't get stronger by floating along with the current.  my superstitious side is anticipating a trial in the nearish future.  i don't know what it will be, but i have a few things i do not want it to be.

(death.  pregnancy.  terminal illness.  a terrible accident.   you know.)

silas and desmond doing 'massages' with the rolling pin

as an aside, i was also very superstitious about my babies and sleeping.  i never wanted to talk about them taking good naps or sleeping through the night because i knew (KNEW) that they would sense my satisfaction and wake up immediately.

trust me.  it happened.

pizza stuffed mushrooms before si and sirius left on their road trip

and just so you know, the last thing silas said to me before he left for utah:

"don't read too much."

really, now.  have some faith in me.

;)