Saturday, August 18, 2012

disciplining wee beasties is not for the faint of heart

i am a raincloud today.

that's me.  spreading cheer wherever i go.

in the same pajamas i've worn for 3 days and 2 nights straight...

(i am not a "fake it till you make it" kind of person.  just so you know.)

i called my mom and cried this morning about how frustrated, confused, ineffective, and lost i felt.

she listened and gave just the right amount of advice and made me feel a little better.

then i stress-ate 4 reeses cups and a quesadilla.

(so of course now i feel like crap.)

chocolate and cheese used to be my go-to binge (alternating, not in the same mouthful.  ugh).  i know it sounds disgusting, but sweet + salty never lets you down.

one day i would like to talk to you about my history with food, because i think it's something that needs to be talked about.  not that my story is really epic or anything, or even really interesting or unusual, but because i've made progress.  and i think sometimes, when you're in the worst of it, you need to know that progress is possible.

today, however, is not that day.

today is the day where i narrate my life really dramatically in my head and wallow annoyingly in self pity for a little longer.

(i bet you're thinking i could use a little shot of that fake optimism right about now, eh?)


i could use a shot.


  1. Oh sweetie! Take heart. All is well and God is over all and it'll all be okay. It really will, It really really will. I promise that. And nothing stays the same. Things are forever changing. POO!!

  2. i love you! and thanks for your support this morning. i'm feeling much more optimistic now (and not so defeated). life might actually be okay. ;)

  3. A. Men. Sometimes even the best, sweetest little kids can make you crazy. This I know for sure.