i am a raincloud today.
that's me. spreading cheer wherever i go.
in the same pajamas i've worn for 3 days and 2 nights straight...
(i am not a "fake it till you make it" kind of person. just so you know.)
i called my mom and cried this morning about how frustrated, confused, ineffective, and lost i felt.
she listened and gave just the right amount of advice and made me feel a little better.
then i stress-ate 4 reeses cups and a quesadilla.
(so of course now i feel like crap.)
chocolate and cheese used to be my go-to binge (alternating, not in the same mouthful. ugh). i know it sounds disgusting, but sweet + salty never lets you down.
one day i would like to talk to you about my history with food, because i think it's something that needs to be talked about. not that my story is really epic or anything, or even really interesting or unusual, but because i've made progress. and i think sometimes, when you're in the worst of it, you need to know that progress is possible.
today, however, is not that day.
today is the day where i narrate my life really dramatically in my head and wallow annoyingly in self pity for a little longer.
(i bet you're thinking i could use a little shot of that fake optimism right about now, eh?)
i could use a shot.