Thursday, January 17, 2013

a post about nothing

i have, once again, taken an unintended absence.  i wish i had some big, exciting news to break the silence.  but alas, i do not.

i've suddenly decided i want to reminisce a bit.  please do indulge me.

2012 was a transformative year for me.  and probably (in the end), one of my best.

funnily enough though, nothing "big" happened.

i didn't get pregnant or have a baby, i didn't start school or graduate.  i didn't fall in love or get married or travel to an exotic land.  (i did read 78 books though.)

it started out being one of the worst years i've experienced*.  i was so lost, and i felt hopeless and beaten down.  i didn't see how things could possibly improve.  i began making contingency plans.

but somehow, miraculously, things did get better.  not overnight.  not in a month or even two.  but gradually, very gradually.  it wasn't until the very end of the year that i could say with any certainty, "hey.  we made it."  (and not only did we survive, but we're happy!)

i changed in 2012.  i began to discover who i really was.  as cheesy and stupid as that sounds, it is the truest thing i've said all day.  i've spent most of my life as a chameleon--one of the things i like about myself is that i can adapt quickly and with relative ease to my friends and their interests.

and one of the things i don't like about myself is that i can adapt quickly and with relative ease to my friends and their interests.

i've spent a lot of time being other people, so when the cumulative events of last year struck (allow me to invoke a wee bit of melodrama and say it was a bit of a crisis year), i was forced to figure myself out.

and it was one of the best things that's ever happened to me.

i'm hoping to continue that trend this year--one of my resolutions is to "be heather" (thank you, gretchen rubin).




happy 2013, my internet friends.  (17 days late, yes.)



*i know it's highly annoying when people talk about their lives in vague, cryptic terms.  my apologies.  i'll try to fill in more details later if i deem it appropriate.


3 comments:

  1. And we have enjoyed watching your metamorphosis! :)

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  2. Amen! I totally feel that way too, about getting to know myself. Way to be.

    ReplyDelete